Wednesday, November 18, 2015

It's been over a year!

I haven't updated my blog in over a year :( I mostly keep up on instagram @fluffytohealthy

I've also been avoiding the "update" because it's not a great update. I've gained back 50 lbs. I originally lost 72 and have gained back 50 of what I lost.

Reasons for gaining it back.
-This past year as been a struggle. Spiritually, financially, etc. (I'm out of the trenches now which I'm so thankful to God for.)

-I'm in a comfortable relationship with my boyfriend

-For about 9 months, Dec 2014-August 2015 I was working 2 jobs and doing classes online/in person for my teaching certification. Talk about exhaustion and stress!!

-I had any and every excuse to not work out.

As of this morning I weigh 269lbs. That number scares me and makes me sad. I feel defeated. Some days I'm so encouraged to work out and eat healthy and other days, I'm just so over it! Over the counting of calories, over the feeling of not being able to eat what I want and when I want. (This is a disorder I've had for as long as I can remember, I didn't know there was a name for it- Binge Eating Disorder BED)

I know I have it in me to meet my goals but I'm just on the edge and can't seem to make the full jump back into this lifestyle again.

I know what I want and I'm ready to do it. I want to be healthy, feel better and have a better future. I want to be married soon and I want to feel, look, and be beautiful and healthy on that day. I want babies some day and I'm sure as hell not wanting to carry if I'm this heavy.

My ultimate goal is to lose 100 pounds from my first starting weight, which was 292.2. I want to be under 200lbs and I'm ready to do it! 192 lbs, here I come!!

Here are some recent pictures of me:
Coffee & Jesus
 It's a good day to have a good day
 Be nice no matter what
 Above 3 shirts from Oliver & Otis

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